The first time I can recall seeing Ted Borland on a snowboard was when I was about 13 or 14 preseason riding at Okemo mountain resort in Ludlow Vermont. He was and still is abnormally tall and willowy, adorned with a Russian style fur hat hiking a half-foot tall red double barrel rail flush with the snow. Each lap I took he would be lugging him self up the trail, board in hand along the tiny rail as my friends and I passed by. I could not figure out at the time, how he could spend his days at the mountain so monotonously. Now, as a friend of his, I can understand. Ted Borland is one of the most determined snowboarders I know, spending as much of his time and energy possible snowboarding and filming. With a solid part in his own movie Bundy vision Three and an upcoming part BV4, Boarding Borland is one to watch.
Ted:s
Spenser: nice dork
all right lets get this started proper .first question
Barbra walters, Oprah, your wife, kill one fuck one marry one
Ted:fuck my wife, marry Oprah like Dave Chappelle did so I’m rich as hell, and then kill Barbara Walters
Spenser: good answer
So what’s up with being a masshole?
Ted:Being a masshole is pretty sweet it automatically makes me a better driver than every single person in Utah, and I get to pretend I have a Boston accent sometimes.
Spenser: Nice. You are one of the many mass transplants living in Utah these days. So now everyone knows you’re a Joey where did you grow up riding?
Ted:First off it was in a bumfuck town in Pennsylvania at a place called Blue Mtn. Then I moved to Mass in 7th grade and rode Mt. Snow
Spenser: Nice. So after that you moved to Utah. What was the motivation for the move? Religious insecurities?
Ted:Yeah I decided to turn mormon and drink shitty beer all the time, so it seemed like the right move
Spenser: You and the rest of Utah. You’re a Brighton boy. How do you feel about the scene around there?
Ted:I just go there to scope out pro boarders' new gear.
Spenser: Me too
Ted:But brighton is definitely the shit you can ride pow for days after a storm and the park is super long and they change it pretty much daily. Park crew kills it there and everyone seems to know everyone around that place.
Spenser: For sure. A lot of bros.
Ted:Yeah mad brofest up there
Spenser: What are your plans for this year
Ted:Well currently I wouldn’t consider anything a plan except for Bundy Vision 4. I’m just tryin’ to go boardin’ every day and film as much as possible.
Spenser: Righteous! Bundy Vision 3 was hecka tight!
Ted:Yeah fo’ sho BV3 was fun as shit to make.
Spenser: Any big things popping with the bro cam flick this year? Thats what its all about right there just shreddin’ and filmin’ with the homies and not givin’ a fuck. Team pup and suds for life bro.
Ted:Big things happening this year since I kind of turned it into a school project. Expect some green screen shit and a bunch of shitty video tricks and a bunch of cut landings.
Spenser: Hell yah! Sounds better than wack dawg. So if you could have any pro boarder in the flick who would it be?
Ted:Mike Michaelchuck... Oh wait we have Sam Spedale never mind.
Spenser: god damn right. Who is the last pro boarder you would have in BV4?
Ted:Maybe some close minded PEOPLE who bite tricks and talk shit about kids because they do different tricks or dress differently... Won’t name any specifics
Spenser: Pussy answer! Alright. Random heat…ass or titties
Ted:Dude I wish the neighbors would move their wireless internet shit closer to our house. It would be way easier to poach.
Spenser: Very true. Boobs or butt?
Ted:I like the booties but boobs are really fun too.
Spenser: So you are filming for Eddie Grams’ movie (Variety Pack’s “Not Bad!”) this year too? Whats that like? Pretty serious business eh?
Ted:It’s going to be a really good flick. Lots of hard work has gone into it so far. Hopefully ill start getting’ some more hamms for it soon, but I don’t have a sled or a car so its kinda tough.
Spenser: Right on. Well lets wrap this up. If heaven exists what do you want to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
Ted:"good try"
Spenser: Puss